Define Mother.

Lump, n. - A pile of blanket put under a child's feet at her bedtime to make her more comfortable. Lumps are always created by a parent, usually by the mother.

Bedtime Story, n. - Any book read to a child by a mother while the child is tucked in for bed. Occasionally, as the child gets older, it is the child that reads a book to the mother. Common titles deemed "bedtime stories" are: the "Little House on the Prairie" books, "The Borrower" books, the "Little Bear" books, "Goodnight Moon," "Emma Bean," "Baby Dear," and "More Spaghetti, I Say." A good mother saves the last few on the list once her child outgrows them as a remembrance of childhood.

The Boat Basin, n. - Located on the Hudson River at roughly 79th street and lasting about a block in either direction, the Boat Basin is a place where mothers bring their daughters to feed ducks during the summertime. Coincidentally, duck mothers bring their ducklings to be fed during the summertime. Usually, mothers walk with daughters through the park to the Boat Basin holding a plastic bag with bread. Upon finding the ducks, the mother helps her daughter to feed them using the bread in the bag. This is done almost every night for the entire childhood.

Costume, n. - Something a child wears when in the school play. Sometimes, mothers are asked to make their child the costume that she will need for her role. Sometimes, this involves spending a large amount of time trying to find a way to make the child look like the bottom half of a cow. More often than not, the mother will be successful but will not be properly thanked.

Big Blue Chair, n. - A large chair (usually blue in color) purchased for the soul purpose of fitting a mother and a daughter so that they might cuddle while they watch television. Generally, it reclines.

Touched By An Angel, n. - A television show that existed in the '90s. This show was watched every Sunday by mother and daughter as they sat in the Big Blue Chair (see definition, Big Blue Chair).

Lois and Clark, n. - A television show that was popular in the early '90s. It was watched every Sunday by mother and daughter.

Regis Phillban, n. - A television persona that some mothers enjoy. He is usually the best reason for watching "Who Wants to Be A Millionare," which some mothers do.

Yankees, n. - The baseball team that mothers who grew up in the Bronx love. Generally this means that mothers and daughters watch baseball games together; sometimes over dinner.

Sacrifice, n. or v. - That which a mother does to give her daughter the best life that she can offer. Sacrifice supplies Lumps, Bedtime Stories, Boat Basin Walks, Big Blue Chairs, and Television, amongst numerous other things (see definitions for further information).

Savior, n. - That which a child is to a woman who feels lost, confused, and perhaps even broken.